Wednesday, June 23, 2004


Going to Oregon is muy expensive.

Anyone willing to contribute to the Send Chasity and Felicia to Oregon fund?






Tuesday, June 01, 2004


My 411th Post.

Do you know what it's like to have to question the motive of every single person that comes your way? Do you know what it's lik to wonder if you're the object of some huge setup and at any moment someone is going to destroy you? Because it's happened before. All of it.

It doesn't just disappear. It maybe decreases as time goes by, but the emotions involved are still very real and very prevalant.

Food for thought: Think before you do, because sometimes people do to you without thinking and end up putting a knife through your heart. Unfortunately, the knife doesn't kill you, it just affects your body for the rest of your life. You'll never be the same again. Never.

Ironically, I came back long enough to post something of this sort and leave just as quickly as I came.





Thursday, March 25, 2004


The Language.

The end of the week isn't so bad as the beginning, that's for sure. I didn't do such brilliant things at lunch yesterday and the day before, but we don't need to talk about that. I noticed that when I'm happy I neglect my blog, but when I'm upset.. you'll find three or four entries a day. Interesting.





Tuesday, March 23, 2004


Everything I've been saying- in a lyrical notion [word for word describing a few of my emotions]. ((I <3 Dashboard)):

This is where I say I've had enough
no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better.
Any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
Pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering this house like I've never wanted out
And this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
Cause they would never do, I would never do.
Never

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
Pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

So don't be a liar,
Don't say that everything's working when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor
And you might say the jokes on me.

well I'm not laughing
You're not leaving
Who do I think I am kidding,
When I'm the only one locked in this cell.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
Pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

So don't be a liar
Don't say that everything's working when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor
And you might say the jokes on me.








Atleast I slept.. some what.

I fell asleep crying last night. At 1 a.m. my swollen eyes finally closed. Don't ask me how I am [at all this week], I will just burst into tears.





Monday, March 22, 2004


I read it and cried.

..then Kyle called and made me laugh. A lot. He even wished me sweat dreams. New oppertunities are refreshing.

Now that he hung up. I'm re-reading the same message. Tears well up as I imagine it. Then I remember that I'm a fool.







They take what they can get.

My kids are adorable. I love them. They call me Ms. Tompkins; it's so cute. Two little boys kept telling me silly things. One boy said he could bounce a ball "like 50 thousand miles high, really." Another told me that it doesn't hurt when he slaps himself, and then he demonstrated. Then a little girl showed me her bruise. It didn't hurt anymore though, she said. I left with a huge smile on my face. My kids are adorable.